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A father, his grandparents, his pregnant wife, his 8 and 10 year old sons and their dog walk in to a talent agent's office. The father steps up to the agent's desk and says; "have we got an act for you." The agent looks at him and says; "ok, what is it?" "Well, it's a family show.... Just watch."
The father puts on Titanic, walks up to his son and starts mouth fisting him while punching his pregnant wife in the stomach. She vomits, convulses and a baby with two dicks drops out, the grandmother waist no time, she quickly puts on a strap on, runs over to the baby and starts fucking so hard it splits in two. The mum panics shoves half the baby back inside her while dad throws the other half to the family dog. The whole family then gets in a circle, start jacking each other off and singing "What a wonderful World" while the grandfather runs around and fists everyone from behind. One of the sons can't take it anymore, he aims for his grandmother, shoots out a load so hard she falls, hits her head on a table and her eye pops out. The mum quickly grabs the eye shoves it up her ass, pulls out half the baby stuck in her cunt and beats the grandmother with it so hard she starts to piss like a fountain. Everyone pulls out umbrellas, starts singing and dancing around the grandma to the theme song of "Friends" as the whole family takes turns fucking her eye socket. Once everyone is done cumming, shitting and pissing in the grandmothers' eyehole, they all take a cyanide pill and bow.
The agent, covered in shit, piss and cum looks at them and says; My god, thats some family show... but what do you call it?
They all shout out "Ta-da! The Aristocrats" then drop to the ground.
...was the title of a flash submitted "movie" right before my 2 extracts from "Majul Tour of Rove" - a properly scripted 21 minute episode, costing around $XXXX dollars to make... so why the fuck is it that this "11 year old girl dance webcam" video got 800+ counting views and mine got around 250 each? What the fuck is wrong people???? Why watch a fucking bear fall on to a trampoline? Why watch a fucking fat guy in a tron suite? A panda fucking sneezing? WTF????
Is it true? Am i right to say; "Internet is just not a suitable place for creative and original entertainment?" Are people too distracted looking for a 10 second goof taped of TV... an unoriginal 2 minute spoof of someone else's character....? A catchy almost pedophilic title, pictures of a toothless bum in a superman suite, weird porn, penis enlarging pills, pop ups, Mily Cyrus video blog from youtube?
WTF, WTF, What the fucking fuck? Bob Saget
Even TV, once a sexy 17 year old blond virgin, now a middle aged tranny hooker, with wrinkly balls, shit covered cock fisting my ass!! Fucking Janice Dickingson, that fucking cunt had more cocks piss inside her then a public urinal, Lindsay Lohan's little sister's reality show, (she'll make more money then anyone reading this), "Snoop dogs fatherhood" like a retarded Bill Cosby, only with more child raping. Watch that crusty, burnt piece of shit raise his kids to either rob a convenience store or hopefully OD on a subway platform, "Hogan Knows Best", how the fuck do i even know the name of that show....? No talent, no point and plenty of product placement... like a fucking hooker telling you about new herpes treatment after fucking.
Fuck I'm pissed, but not surprised. People fucked the Internet like they fucked everything else given to them. Capitalism, Democracy; just one big furry fuck toy for media; a fucking three legged retard mouth-fisting his mum at a circus. Who gives a fuck who you fuck, you could be sucking out cum from your sisters cunt while she toe fucks your dog, you could be jacking off your uncle while his wife fucks your mum with a strap on, just don't start a fucking war!!! A whole fucking country full of cross-dressing fat tranny's preaching "CREATIONISM" while sucking off your kids. There's been more fuck fests at the Vatican then at Freddie Mercury's 40th birthday. From kids, goats, sisters and mums, yes the popes fucked it all.
You can keep TV a septic tank, you can elect another retard, you can leave everything as it is, just don't touch the fucking internet. It's my Fortress of Solitude, my Millenium Falcon, so back the fuck off. Fuck off with your myspace, no one cares what mood you're in, fuck off with youtube, its got more clips of TV then there is on TV, fuck off with your ebay, your blogs, your ads, fuck off noobs, leave it alone.
Inside a fortified 16th Century Gothic mansion surrounded by hideous gargoyles and wax figures of Rosie O'Donell a tiny infant with webbed toes a superfluous third nipple and an unquenchable thirst to rule the world was spawned.
Like water in the toilet tank the days flowed by as the baby grew bigger, stronger and more malevolent then anything this dreary world had yet cast its eyes upon.
People around him begun to grow evil, selfish, greedy and hateful; just like in Ghost Busters 2 when Bill Murray discovers the "Ectoplasm river" in the sewers, beneath the city. This "energy" quickly manifested, making everything in it's path regulatory, censored, mainstream and family oriented. However, it wasn't until January 12, 1981 when the "horrid" and "un-human" acting of Linda Evans in the pilot episode of "Dynasty" caused a train crash in Toronto. Only 51 people died, but more was to follow, with only 1 year away from "Knight Rider" and Dick Clark tightening his iron grip on prime time television the world was no longer a safe place.
With evil at its peak in 1986, Satan crawled out of hells heart, spread his arse cheeks and out came Oprah. "Now, with "Wheel of Fortune", "Price is Right" and "The Oprah Winfrey Show" I have made day time Television stale, repetitive and virtually unbearable to watch." Said Satan while Ronald Regan played with his balls, Vanilla Ice and McHammer spit cum bubbles into each others mouths and Rupert Murdoch rubbed his nipples while molesting a preteen quadriplegic Vietnamese war orphan with down syndrome.
Sad is the fate of man, when "Full House" is picked up for yet another season while Bill Hicks dies in '94 from pancreatic cancer.
How does it all end?
To be continued...