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The Aristocrats - A Wholesome Joke You Can Tell Your Family

Posted by majul - August 28th, 2008

A father, his grandparents, his pregnant wife, his 8 and 10 year old sons and their dog walk in to a talent agent's office. The father steps up to the agent's desk and says; "have we got an act for you." The agent looks at him and says; "ok, what is it?" "Well, it's a family show.... Just watch."

The father puts on Titanic, walks up to his son and starts mouth fisting him while punching his pregnant wife in the stomach. She vomits, convulses and a baby with two dicks drops out, the grandmother waist no time, she quickly puts on a strap on, runs over to the baby and starts fucking so hard it splits in two. The mum panics shoves half the baby back inside her while dad throws the other half to the family dog. The whole family then gets in a circle, start jacking each other off and singing "What a wonderful World" while the grandfather runs around and fists everyone from behind. One of the sons can't take it anymore, he aims for his grandmother, shoots out a load so hard she falls, hits her head on a table and her eye pops out. The mum quickly grabs the eye shoves it up her ass, pulls out half the baby stuck in her cunt and beats the grandmother with it so hard she starts to piss like a fountain. Everyone pulls out umbrellas, starts singing and dancing around the grandma to the theme song of "Friends" as the whole family takes turns fucking her eye socket. Once everyone is done cumming, shitting and pissing in the grandmothers' eyehole, they all take a cyanide pill and bow.

The agent, covered in shit, piss and cum looks at them and says; My god, thats some family show... but what do you call it?

They all shout out "Ta-da! The Aristocrats" then drop to the ground.

Comments (5)

That is not funny. >:(

go back to lubing up and jacking off to the guys from "300"

That joke is older than the goddamn Soviet Union...literally.

Everyone knows it >:(

Soviet union was formed in 1922... the earliest we can trace back the aristocrats joke is to 1975. You fail, but don't worry, im sure your life will be filled with much more failure and disappointment.

Just end it now; remember, when cutting... down the road and not across.

Wow. Um. Teh....

Would you like your attention fried or boiled?

It's almost funny you thnk I care about you.